A Story About Nothing
by Saiororen
Summary: Title. Random Diary of a Wimpy Kid crap.


Greg had just finished with school and was hanging out in the parking lot, he was bored and was hoping to hang out with some friends, as Rowley had been being a douche to him for the past couple weeks and either trying to bully him or simply ignore him.

"Yo Chirag..." said Greg when he saw his buddy Chirag, "You mind if I chill at your place?"

"Fasho bro..." Chirag said.

And so off they went, Albert Sandy, as well as some of their other classmates coming along with them.

As soon as they got into the house, Chirag started to set up 'Twisted Wizard' so that they could all play.

Suddenly the doorbell rang, and Chirag went over and opened it. It was Goji Siramb Chausenheim who was a transfer student from Sweden and he was Half German, A quarter Korean and a quarter Punjabi. He was pretty chill though and so everybody said whats up to him.

A couple minutes later Chirag's mom, 'Sumeerinanini Gupta' stopped by and asked if everybody was doing ok. Everybody was doing fine, but Goji asked where the bathroom was and she showed him.

After he got out, Chirag's mom was working on something in the room next door.

"What's your name she asked? It's not that often I get to meet Chirag's friends..." she said

"Oh heh thanks, My name is Goji" he said.

"GOJI!..." she suddenly screamed and then Chirag paused the game and everybody payed attention to what was going on.

"What in the name of Chapmiheen's golden moose is a damned Goji! There is no such thing as a Goji man" she roared, and with that she got up and backhanded Goji across the face.

"Did not your mom put some purse damned respect on your face..." she asked.

"You are sick man, get out of my house right now... All of you get out of my house", she said and suddenly she grabbed her laptop and smashed it over Goji's head.

Greg and Albert bolted and the rest of Chirag's friends did as well.

Unfortunately a rabid German shepard was waiting for them in the backyard.

Greg quickly shoved his classmate, Pouran Lumpus in front of him and the dog closed its teeth around Pouran's thigh causing him to howl in pain.

Greg and the rest of the people quickly for the gate but a small asian man, about 4'10 was waiting for them, holding a crowbar.

"poochie coochie coochie cooo..." he said laughing.

"Oh yes, nobody show a poor ping pao ling ding any uh respectee any more, noooo ..." Ping Pao Ling Ding the small asian man said.

The man began walking towards them and Greg said screw it and charged and tackled the man around the waist knocking him back into the fence hard.

The wood bent slightly and some splinters embedded themselves in Ping Pao's back.

"Shangree Hooo..." the man howled and Greg quickly unlatched the gate and bolted out his friends following and trampling over Ping Pao.

When they were outside they heard Goji howling in pain, as well as the cracking of a whip.

"SAY YOUR NAME PROPER..." they heard Chirag's mom scream.

"GOJI SIRAMB CHAUSENHEIM" they heard Goji scream.

Greg walked up to the window and peered inside. Goji was laying on the floor from all the whippings but he suddenly got to his feet and screamed, "I've had enough of this!"

Then they saw him punch Chirag's mom in the mouth hard, knocking loose some of her teeth.

Finally Goji grabbed Chirag's mom's hair and began slamming her face into the window breaking it and knocking her out.

Chirag suddenly came up behind Goji holding the PS4 and slammed it over Goji's head knocking him out.

Greg just sprinted away because this was too crazy.

He got back home and was shocked his brother Manny had some face tattoos. He had a devil mask tattoo on his forehead, a spider tattoo on his right cheek and a jumpman tattoo on his left check. He had a whole sleeve of random tattoos on his right and left arms and had earrings in both ear as well as cartilage piercings. He also had a nose ring and a nose piercing, and a buzzcut.

Greg was shocked.

Manny noticed and said, "Don't hate lil bitch, you just jealous cause I be making it in the rap game..."

Greg say the computer monitor that Manny was pointing at, "This is my track, "Finessin my way through the Trapp" prod. by Loded Diper"

"It's blowing up right now vrother!" Manny screamed.

"Manny this is a bit ridiculous", said Greg, "What are mom and dad gonna say"

"Man shut yo bitch ass mouf up, I don't give a fuck bout that lil bitch and that faggot bro, I'm flexin hard Im a young un on the come up..." Manny said pulling out a cigarette and lighting it.

"You betta quit yo hatin lil bitch ass, Im Yung Flossetali Picasso Gang Gang up in this bitch! You know I stay strapped and I got hella shooters on deck lil bitch!" Manny said.

"If you stay hatin, Imma pull out my uzi on yo hoe ass..." Manny replied.

Then Manny pulled out his phone and began freestyling and recording it through his phone recording app. Greg could only stay transfixed watching in shock.

"It be Yung Flossateli. I stay strapped up with barreti's. All these fuccbois hating, But I stay paper chasin. Nah hol up wut. Nah hol up woah. Nah hol up dam. I keep the sock in the pan. I keep the drop on the xan. I put yo pop in the can. I put the drama the man. I stay juggin Im flexin. I fucked yo cousin Im flexin. I cashed a check and Im flexin. Flexin Flexin Flexin Flexin, my guns stay on waistband resting. Young Flossateli got them 8 round pressing. Imma wet his ass like some salad dressing. If he run up on me he a hoe. If I fucked his bitch she a hoe. If she suck that dick Im like woah. I just hit a lick on the mothafuckin po-po. I just moved enough bricks to build a trap mansion. I just fucked yo bitch, I didn't even start class ye. I be movin snow like I work for the Claus. I be fuckin hoes like I was Santa Claus damn! Young Flossateli I got more bandz than R. Kelly. Young Flossateli I got more hoes that fetty. Young Flossateli still in a diaper but he shitting on all you hoes already!" Manny freestyled, while Greg sat in shocked silence.

Manny walked over to the computer and pulled up a random Loded Diper session he had recorded and placed his vocals over that and uploaded it to Soundcloud. It didn't even match up.

"Video shoot tomorrow you dumb hoe..." Manny said going up to his room.

Greg was shocked, and the next day Manny did indeed shoot a video and it went viral.

Greg's parents were furious when they saw Manny and his raps, as the video reached 100 million views and reached facebook normie status in like five minutes after it got posted.

Greg's parents grounded Manny for the rest of the millenium.

Then Greg woke up in a juvenile detention cell, which he remembered he was in for pissing his pants on stage at the talent show.

The END!


End file.
